Quotes

These are sorted by date, with the most recent additions being on top. Quotations were last added on 2009-12-06. Feel free to add your own by way of a comment.

  1. I washed my phone. Now I no longer wander around campus exposing the vacuity of my religion. – Dr. Force, University of Kentucky
  2. Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it. – Seymour Cray
  3. Pointers are like jumps, leading wildly from one part of the data structure to another. Their introduction into high-level languages has been a step backwards from which we may never recover. – Charles Hoare
  4. Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is. – Larry Wall
  5. Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. – Stan Kelly-Bootle
  6. There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. – Bjarne Stroustrup
  7. My heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you. – Edward, New Moon by Stephanie Meyer
  8. I promise that this will be the last time you’ll see me. I won’t come back. I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I’d never existed. – Edward, New Moon by Stephanie Meyer
  9. I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. – Edward, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
  10. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. – Bella, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
  11. The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality. – Dante Alighieri
  12. An amateur thinks it’s funny to dress a man as an old lady, sit him in a wheelchair and shove the chair so that it goes down a ladder and smashes into a brick wall. A professional knows you have to use a real old lady. – Groucho Marx
  13. Nothing screams “bitch” like wearing a shirt that says “too hot to care.” – the Best Page in the Universe
  14. There are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those people usually juggle for a living. – the Best Page in the Universe
  15. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism. – the Best Page in the Universe
  16. Women get away with murder in our society, especially when it comes to the visual pollution they call fashion. – the Best Page in the Universe
  17. “The final victorious way of looking at things will be the most completely impressive to the normal run of minds.” – William James
  18. “The truth of an idea is not a stagnant property inherent in it. Truth happens to an idea. It becomes true, is made true by events. Its verity is in fact an event, a process.” – William James
  19. Should I play the lion or the fox? – Machiavelli
  20. “I believe it is precisely through the presence of opposites and the feelings they occasion that they great man—the bow with great tension—develops.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  21. “Son, life is about building character. I know you don’t like dangling pointers right now, but some day, you’ll thank me for preparing you for the struggles of the real world. You will look back on these null references with nostalgia after I sell you to 14-year-old hacker who tries to manually re-flash your EEPROM with his own CPU-fan controller.” – Josh Priestley
  22. “Don’t believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.” – Albert Camus
  23. “You can see these pizzas in your mind, mmkay?” – my differential equations professor when describing fractions as parts of pizzas
  24. “I just stole from myself, mmkay? Welcome to the criminal mind.” – my differential equations professor when talking about reusing his own quiz questions
  25. “Oh, this looks disgusting.” – my differential equations professor when talking about xy" + (x-1)y' – y = 0
  26. sometimes you really have to bend over far and spread your cheeks to get a good one. – Trinity on farting against doors
  27. You can do all the things that you can do to your own code to open source: you can ship it, you don’t have to pay any money or anything, you can fix any bugs, you can have a new feature. These all sound like trivial things, but you can do them all without getting permission, without having to check with anybody, without having to go to your legal team. Once the code’s in your company, people are going to be able to use it like their own. And that’s incredibly powerful. – Chris DiBona of Google.
  28. In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different. – Coco Chanel
  29. Chuck Norris’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  30. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he is pushing the Earth down.
  31. Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
  32. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  33. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  34. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  35. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  36. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1) heart disease, 2) Chuck Norris, 3) cancer.
  37. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and kill.
  38. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  39. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  40. Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
  41. Constantly wearing tight trousers with expandable parts betwixt your legs is a good way to put yourself sterile. – Palmer
  42. When I hear the words ‘geek culture’, I reach for my +6 Dagger of Slay Orc. – Penguin Pete’s
  43. “Remember, whenever you put gasoline in your tank, you’re converting ancient vegetables and dinosaur lips into movement energy.” – Rod Machado
  44. When Chuck Norris gets in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet… The water gets Chuck Norris.
  45. Behind Chuck Norris’s beard, there isn’t a chin. There is only another fist.
  46. There is no theory of evolution, there is only a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  47. “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” – Ernest Hemingway
  48. “If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge.” – Robert A. Heinlein
  49. “If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.” – Don Herold
  50. “Death is like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you’d be paralyzed.” – Dead Like Me
  51. “Shock and tittilate me! I’ve got money!” – Calvin from It’s a Magical World
  52. “A program should follow the ‘Law of Least Astonishment.’ What is this law? It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the way that astonishes him least.” – Geoffrey James in ‘The Tao of Programming’
  53. “When you say something in a small language, it comes out big. When you say something in a big language, it comes out small.” – Larry Wall about Perl
  54. “Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler.” – Albert Einstein
  55. “Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” – Antoine de St. Exupery
  56. “An architect’s most useful tools are an eraser at the drafting board and a wrecking bar at the site.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
  57. “Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.” – Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
  58. “Form follows function—that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
  59. “I gotta remember that the strong, independent girl that I love just disappears on her period.” – Todd when I cowered at going out in the cold rain
  60. Beth: Anyone with THAT hairy of an ass does NOT need your love and affection! / Julie: Oh… well, thanks for putting that into perspective. – Dismissing ex-boyfriends, Kent State University, pointsincase.com
  61. Jess: She was wicked-prego. / Aaron: What? / Jess: Wicked-prego. You know, like very pregnant. / Aaron: Oh. See I imagined this poor jar of spaghetti sauce buring in hell and being poked with pitch forks and stuff. – On Boston slang, pointsincase.com
  62. (19:56:28) Trinity: plus, we never had a working VCR at my house. they always just turned into VCs.
  63. Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we’re still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants. We put on display our framed photographs, our parchment diplomas, our silver-plated cups; we monogram our linen, we carve our names on trees, we scrawl them on washroom walls. It’s all the same impulse. What do we hope from it? Applause, envy, respect? Or simply, attention, of any kind we can get? At the very least we want a witness. We can’t stand the idea of our voices falling silent finally, like a radio running down. – Margaret Atwood
  64. “Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren’t distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.” – Randy K. Milholland
  65. Why did you lie?! – Kelly / Because you asked a question! – Brent; while watching Jaws
  66. But damnit, I WILL NOT share a bed with your bitch ass :D Those twin-sized beds aren’t big enough for the both of our big asses! And you’ve never had to experience the bigness of my big ass! – Trinity
  67. (20:35:09) Trinity: it’s just a penis! god! half the world has them and the other half wants them in them!
  68. The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’ – Ronald Reagan
  69. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  70. But while Im at it, lets increase my index on Google a bit more. SEX! PENIS! VAGINA! PORN! FICKEN! SEXSTELLUNGEN! ANALVERKEHR! – Trinity
  71. Life may be short, but it is wide. – Laurie
  72. Being a Southerner by birth, I’m biologically programmed to prefer areas where the residents are always threatening to run off and start their own country. – Laurie
  73. It is good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing. – unknown
  74. HOLY SHIT, I LIVE NEXT TO THE DRY PEA AND LENTIL CAPITAL OF THE WORLD? Why didn’t anyone tell me??? – The Best Page in the Universe
  75. There’s nothing sadder than a naked refrigerator. – grouch, http://www.edge-op.org/
  76. The Stoics say, “Retire within yourselves; it is there you will find your rest.” And that is not true. – Pascal
  77. To Jessica: “Sarah and I were talking and we need to get you a boyfriend.” – Ashlee, “I thought you were going to talk about the apartment.” – Sarah, “Oh, and we need to get an apartment.” – Ashlee, “And stick your boyfriend in the apartment. And cover him with chocolate syrup and raisins.” – Sarah, “And rape him.” – Ashlee
  78. “Two divided by two is…” “One.” “Two divided by two is one?” – Dr. Lumpp in EE 280
  79. “Holy crap, it’s right! He’s not so crazy.” – Dr. Lumpp in EE 280
  80. (09:51:39) Noir: jes leave ‘im lay where Jesus flang ‘im! / (09:52:07) Trinity: i am. my purse will be filled with midol!
  81. (00:55:39) Matt: I mean if one is gonna look at porn look at normal sized people porn.. that way you don’t have to use a magnifying glass to see all the details cuz everything is full size vs. smaller size / (00:55:50) Matt: it saves on eye strain
  82. “If Osama bin Laden had any brains he’d open up a new fast food chain, not a terrorist organization.” – Sasha of morning-frost.net
  83. The art of government is to make two-thirds of a nation pay all it possibly can pay for the benefit of the other third. – Voltaire
  84. Creationists make it sound as though a ‘theory’ is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. – Isaac Asimov
  85. “I’m gonna go take me a tankle.” – Lora
  86. “Are you studying calculus?” says Lora
    “No, I’m looking at porn with integrals,” I reply.
  87. “I was nineteen and I got involved in a political prank, but I’m not sorry. The ends justify the means, and I mean for Republicans to push Democrats off the face of the earth.” – Karl Rove
  88. “When God made the arse, he didn’t say, ‘Hey, it’s just your basic hinge, let’s knock off early.’ He said, ‘Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.’” – Coupling
  89. “I might be a love seat but I ain’t a couch!” – Lora trying to say that she wasn’t fat
  90. I cannot project the degree of hatred required to make those women run around in crusades against abortion. Hatred is what they certainly project, not love for the embryos, which is a piece of nonsense no one could experience, but hatred, a virulent hatred for an unnamed object…Their hatred is directed against human beings as such, against the mind, against reason, against ambition, against success, against love, against any value that brings happiness to human life. In compliance with the dishonesty that dominates today’s intellectual field, they call themselves ‘pro-life.’ – Ayn Rand
  91. Basically, I’ll listen to anything as long as it doesn’t involve a bunch of fat men waving their arms around while wearing sweat suits and huge-ass silver medallions from their necks as 10 girls in thongs dance in the background. – Trinity
  92. “Religion is a subject on which I have ever been most scrupulously reserved. I have considered it as a matter between every man and his Maker in which no other, and far less the public, had a right to intermeddle.” – Thomas Jefferson to Richard Rush, 1813.
  93. “The civil rights of none shall be abridged on account of religious belief or worship, nor shall any national religion be established, nor shall the full and equal rights of conscience be in any manner, or on any pretence, infringed.’ – James Madison (Original wording of the First Amendment; Annals of Congress 434 (June 8, 1789).)
  94. “During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.” – James Madison (Memorial and Remonstrance against Religious Assessments, 1785.)
  95. “As the Government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.” – Treaty of Tripoli, 1797
  96. Churchill’s Commentary on Man: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
  97. “If violence is a kind of dust that lies inside the house of the soul, there does not seem to be any way to sweep it out the door. We can only sweep it to one corner or another.” – William T. Vollmann
  98. “I disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend with my life your right to say it.” – Voltaire
  99. “Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have… The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases.” – Thomas Jefferson
  100. “Efficient government is a dictatorship.” – Truman
  101. me: How was your day? Lora: It was one of those days where you’d just rather kill yourself than go to calculus recitation.
  102. (12:58:32) Trinity: ill slappen sie an mich next, damnit!
  103. “If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done.” – Scott Adams Dilbert newsletter 3.0, 1994
  104. “Man… will be more likely to prevail, if he can interest [their] self-love in his favour, and show them that it is for their own advantage to do for him what he requires of them.” – Adam Smith, “The Wealth of Nations”
  105. “If you take the Christian Bible and put it out in the wind and the rain, soon the paper on which the words are printed will disintegrate and the words will be gone. Our bible IS the wind and the rain.” – Herbalist Carol McGrath as told to her by a Native American woman
  106. “Oh, hold on kids, I think we just lost another one! DAMN I’m getting boring!” – Dr. Shulman, spotting a student falling asleep in class
  107. “It’s okay Krystal…these babies are strong as glass bottles!” – Carly, trying to prove that beer bottles won’t break if you smash them off a bed post, Trent University
  108. “We are going to have to set up a little seating arrangement in this classroom; girls with skirts, front row; fat chicks, back row. Get moving.” – Profesor Weickmenn, on assigned seats and getting fired, University of Iowa
  109. “And every time a child is born unto the world with an extra chromosome the people of the world shall be merry and rejoice for their lord miscalculated yet again and is getting his DRUNK ON.” – Kelly, on religious theory, St. Joseph University
  110. “When one defines oneself as Pagan, it means she or he follows an earth or nature religion, one that sees the divine manifest in all creation. The cycles of nature are our holy days, the earth is our temple, its plants and creatures our partners and teachers. We worship a deity that is both male and female, a mother Goddess and father God, who together created all that is, was, or will be. We respect life, cherish the free will of sentient beings, and accept the sacredness of all creation.” – Edain McCoy
  111. “My greatest disagreement with both Dems and Repubs is their hypocracy about LIFE. The former can’t think of a killer who should suffer death in prison, but ok’s killing in the womb; the latter would force a women to bring an unwanted life into the world, but would do little or nothing to help the little life when it is growing up or when as an young adult makes mistakes. Yup just can’t abide hypocracy.” – Dominc
  112. “Mysterious Murder In Snowy Cream” — “Fargo” in Hong Kong (in Cantonese, “snowy cream” is pronounced “fah go”).
  113. “Beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.” — From a menu in Poland.
  114. “Strawberry crap.” — From a menu in Japan.
  115. “Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream.” — From a menu in China.
  116. “When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor.” – From a brochure at a Tokyo car rental firm.
  117. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. – unknown
  118. You say love is a hell you cannot bear / And I say gimme mine back and then go there / For all I care – “Sleep to Dream” by Fiona Apple
  119. “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go, because man, they’re gone.” – Jack Handey
  120. “It has been a very busy year, Miss Granger. I assure you, if ever I get the chance to open my gifts, I will find your present, put it on my head, throw it off in rage and promptly burn it.” – Snape, Christmas Present by Potter47
  121. Banish Air from Air / Divide Light if you dare – Emily Dickinson
  122. “The Stoics say, ‘Retire within yourselves; it is there you will find your rest.’ And that is not true.” – Pascal, Pensée 465
  123. “Felicity is a continual progress of the desire from one object to another, the attaining of the former being still but a way to the latter. The cause whereof is that the object of man’s desire is not to enjoy once only, and for one instant of time, but to assure forever the way of his future desire… So that in the first place, I put as a general inclination of all mankind a perpetual and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. And the cause of this is… that a man… cannot assure the power and means to live well, which he hath present, without the acquisition of more.” – Hobbes, Leviathan XI
  124. “…Hiero the Syracusan… rose from a private station to be Prince of Syracuse… This man abolished the old soldiery, organized the new, gave up old alliances, made new ones; and as he had his own soldiers and allies, on such foundations was he able to build any edifice…” – Machiavelli, The Prince XVIII
  125. “[His] ministers, being all slaves and bondsmen, can only be corrupted with great difficulty, and one can expect little advantage from them when they have been corrupted, as they cannot carry the people with them, for the reason explained.” – Machiavelli, The Prince IV
  126. “If we add to this terror the blissful ecstasy that wells from the innermost depths of man, indeed of nature, at this collapse of the principium individuationis, we steal a glimpse into the nature of the Dionysian, which is brought home to us most intimately by the analogy of intoxication.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy
  127. (14:43:12) Trinity: well damnit, i need to go have sex! be back in 20 minutes!
  128. (23:28:10) Trinity: lol. ive been using piss in everything lately.
  129. (23:39:56) Trinity: this is why i hate watching uncensored jerry springer. i cant stand seeing fat people rolling nude in pies!
  130. (00:53:26) Trinity: no way! i dont need rice in my butt crack and other places!
  131. (12:00:21) Trinity: i dont understand how “u l o o l el los o u” can be a sentence! / (12:00:50) Trinity: no wonder spanish people speak so fast. all of their words are no longer than 2 letters! it all just runs together!
  132. There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. – Minnie Aumonier
  133. In actual fact the pacifistic-humane idea is perfectly all right perhaps when the highest type of man has previously conquered and subjected the world to an extent that makes him the sole ruler of this earth… Therefore, first struggle and then perhaps pacifism. – Hitler
  134. Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live. – Hitler
  135. Friendliness is considered to be justice in the fullest sense. – Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
  136. So virtue is a purposive disposition, lying in a mean that is relative to us and determined by a rational principle, by that which a prudent man would use to determine it. – Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
  137. Our account of this science will be adequate if it achieves such clarity as the subject-matter allows. – Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
  138. This title pertains to those really hideous people who teach their children words like ‘winky’ and ‘tootie’ instead of ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’. When I have kids, those filthy little ingrates are going to KNOW about penises and vaginas, so help me God! – Charlotte
  139. Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you. – Valentine, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
  140. There is no teacher but the enemy. – Mazer Rackham, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
  141. Individual human beings are all tools, that the others use to help us all survive. – Graff, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
  142. About growth spurts in breasts: (00:16:16) Steve: they probably do keep growing, but you can expect a positive second derivative around 19
  143. (12:02:37) Trinity: im not hosting a clique about my own ass!
  144. (11:53:11) Trinity: man, i was sitting on my bed saturday night and thought a big one was coming, i lifted my cheek in preparation and all it was was a squeak that got higher pitched as it went on!
  145. Hence, if man goes on selecting, and thus augmenting, any peculiarity, he will almost certainly unconsciously modify other parts of the structure, owing to the mysterious laws of the correlation of growth. – Charles Darwin, ‘The Origin of Species’
  146. holy fuck. people need to stop having sex. – Trinity
  147. God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. – Sir William Bragg
  148. Why else keep a journal, if not to examine your own filth? – Anne Sexton
  149. Any pile of stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more, deserves to doom themselves to some dank cell, somewhere, for having been so stupid!! Movies, books, TV, music — They’re all just entertainment, not guidebooks for damning yourself! – Nny, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
  150. The passions that drive us should be the ones we respect and admire. To feel contempt for one’s own motivations is a vulgar thing. – Nny, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
  151. Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. – Voltaire
  152. I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it. – Voltaire
  153. They are a Hateful and Hypocritical species of Arrogant Creatures. They preach Peace and practice Hate. As unthinkable as it is, they even Kill each other in the name of their Peace-Loving God. – Voltaire
  154. Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  155. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? – Friedrich Nietzsche
  156. Insanity in individuals is something rare — but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  157. Oppression is an evil. The stupidity it produces is also an evil. – George Dennison
  158. For the soundest of evolutionary reasons man appears at his best when times are worst. – Robert Ardrey
  159. (18:54:09) Trinity: andrea just said “what the fizzing shuck” instead of “what the shitting fuck”.
  160. There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. – Benjamin Disraeli
  161. First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure. – Mark Twain
  162. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. – Oscar Wilde
  163. (19:38:46) Trinity: jeez! thongs arent even big! they chould shove them in a small envelope and slap a 37 cent stamp on it!
  164. In order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty. – Bender, Futurama
  165. (23:18:14) Trinity: you spretchtz dat doytch!
  166. (22:42:45) Trinity: i shit like a byrd! / (22:42:56) Noir: most would say “i eat like a bird”…
  167. (20:43:58) Trinity: i want my pooty!
  168. The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. – F. Scott Fitzgerald
  169. (00:36:55) Noir: “drink twelve beers, come back, and you’ll love it,” was some advice i heard. / (00:37:24) Steve: I’d probably like Golden Girls after 12 beers / (00:37:29) Steve: you know, after I was conscious again
  170. I am not strange. I am just not normal. – Salvador Dali
  171. (22:29:44) Noir: you seem the type to run to the bathroom, stick your butt in, and cark one off rather than cark it right in front of god and everybody. / (22:29:59) bizhotchiznitch: oh god.. you definitely dont know me.
  172. (22:30:12) bizhotchiznitch: i was in the car today and carked one off and it was the loudest carking thing ive ever heard.
  173. The best proof of love is trust. – Doctor Joyce Brothers
  174. If I had my way we’d sleep every night wrapped around each other like hibernating rattlesnakes. – William S. Burroughs
  175. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. – Shakespeare
  176. Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. – David Grayson
  177. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. – C.S. Lewis
  178. You could put monosodium glutamate on cardboard and you’d eat it. – my dad’s comment on my eating habits
  179. legal_insanity: why is my coffee cup always empty yet the hole is on top?
  180. There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. – Oscar Wilde
  181. Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic. – Anais Nin
  182. Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. – W. H. Auden
  183. All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. – Galileo Galilei
  184. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? – Art Hoppe
  185. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright
  186. Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once. – William Shakespeare
  187. The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly. – Corra Harris
  188. Shug: See Daddy, sinners have souls too. – The Color Purple
  189. The Architect: “Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness. – The Matrix Reloaded
  190. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. – Thomas A. Edison
  191. Good laws have their origins in bad morals. – Ambrosius Macrobius
  192. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. – Edmond Burke
  193. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. – H. L. Mencken
  194. He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  195. Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. – Abraham Lincoln
  196. In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. – Paul Harvey
  197. The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, ‘Is there a meaning to music?’ My answer would be, ‘Yes.’ And ‘Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?’ My answer to that would be, ‘No.’ – Aaron Copland
  198. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. – Walt Disney
  199. To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains. – Mary Pettibone Poole
  200. I never know how much of what I say is true. – Bette Midler
  201. In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. – Andy Warhol
  202. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. – Chinese Proverb
  203. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon
  204. Riku: I’ve always wondered why we’re here on this island. If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one? And suppose there are other worlds… then ours is just a little piece of something much greater. So we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right? – Kingdom Hearts
  205. Will: I’d be the worst possible Godfather. I’d probably drop her on her head at her christening. I’d forget all her birthdays until she was 18. Then I’d take her out and get her drunk. And, let’s face it, quite possibly try and shag her. – About A Boy
  206. O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! / It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock / The meat it feeds on. – William Shakespeare, Othello
  207. It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. – Woody Allen
  208. Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. – Benjamin Franklin
  209. Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it. – Martin Luther King
  210. Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. – Rudyard Kipling
  211. Say what men may, it is doctrine that moves the world. He who takes no position will not sway the human intellect. – William Thayer Shedd
  212. It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. – Jerome K Jerome
  213. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. – Oscar Wilde
  214. Hatred is the anger of the weak. – Alphonse Daudet
  215. I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may – light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful. – John Constable
  216. Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. – Anne Frank
  217. Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those we have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these things. – Emily Dickenson
  218. Brian Shelby: The sweet ain’t nearly as sweet without the sour. – Vanilla Sky
  219. Rebecca: This is so bad it’s almost good. / Enid: This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again. – Ghost World
  220. Character is who you are in the dark. – unknown
  221. In 3 words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on. – Robert Frost
  222. Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear. – Empire Records
  223. Jack: If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? – Fight Club
  224. I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps “Oh look at that!” Then- whoosh, and I’m gone…and they’ll never see anything like it ever again… and they won’t be able to forget me-ever. – Jim Morrison
  225. Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
  226. Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got. – Janis Joplin
  227. America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. – Oscar Wilde
  228. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss
  229. Tyler Durden: Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off. – Fight Club
  230. Ferris Bueller Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  231. I’m too much of an erratic, moody person, and I don’t have the passion anymore, so remember – it’s better to burn out than to fade away. – Kurt Cobain
  232. Well behaved women rarely make history. – Laura Conners
  233. Bad habits are hard to break, especially if you like them. – unknown
  234. Susanna Kaysan: I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. – Girl, Interrupted
  235. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. – The Beatles
  236. It is far better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not. – unknown
  237. I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool. – Shirley Manson
  238. Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. – P.J. O’Rourke
  239. Basically, I’ll listen to anything as long as it doesn’t involve a bunch of fat men waving their arms around while wearing sweat suits and huge-ass silver medallions from their necks as 10 girls in thongs dance in the background. – Trinity
  240. Panicking by yourself is the same as laughing in an empty room. – Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
  241. I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with. – Denis Leary
  242. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. – Richard Jeni
  243. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni
  244. There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do. – Richard Jeni
  245. If you go over to someone’s house and they have a whirlpool Jacuzzi and they want you to use it, go ahead, man, but if they come by with some chopped up carrots and onions, get the fuck outta there. – Mitch Hedberg
  246. A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice. – Bill Cosby
  247. (22:45:34) thedarktux: oh dear merciful GOD there is a HAIR on my keyboard, trinity! a HAIR! / (22:45:37) Trinity: lets just drop it. no one was pregnant
  248. (22:29:53) Trinity: thes epeople [sic] and their relationship problems! jeez! they need imaginary husbands!
  249. Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. – unknown
  250. Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME. – Anon.
  251. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. – Frank Herbert, Dune, “Litany Against Fear”, 1965
  252. Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. – Kahlil Gibran, “The Vision”
  253. He who lives in solitude may make his own laws. – Publilius Syrus, Moral Sayings
  254. Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong. – Sir Winston Churchill
  255. He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god. – Aristotle, Politics
  256. Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted. – Chinese Proverb
  257. When all men think alike, no one thinks very much. – Walter Lippmann
  258. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. – Lord Thomas Dewar
  259. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. – Buddha
  260. Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. – Henry Van Dyke
  261. Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off. – C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections
  262. Everyone has a talent, what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. – Erica Jong, The Craft of Poetry
  263. Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. – Anon.
  264. All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. – Orison Swett Marden
  265. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. – Oscar Wilde
  266. You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. – Aldous Huxley
  267. When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do. – William Blake
  268. As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. – Josh Billings
  269. The revolution … is a dictatorship of the exploited against the exploiters. – Fidel Castro
  270. Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently. – Anon.
  271. We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. World losers and world forsakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. Yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems. – Arthur O’Shaunessey
  272. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein
  273. People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. – Kierkegaard
  274. Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable. – Anon.
  275. You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea. – Medgar Evers
  276. Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity. – Christopher Morley
  277. A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes. – Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
  278. I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. – (Robert Frost) The Road Not Taken
  279. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  280. I am a student. Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate me. – Slogan of the Free Speech Movement, 1964.
  281. Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them. – Charles Simic
  282. A poet is a bird of unearthly excellence, who escapes from his celestial realm arrives in this world warbling. If we do not cherish him, he spreads his wings and flies back into his homeland. – Kahlil Gibran, “The Poet of Baalbek”
  283. A poet is someone who is astonished by everything. – Anon.
  284. No one is listening until you make a mistake. – Anon.
  285. What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish. – W. H. Auden, The Dyer’s Hand, 1962
  286. The people who oppose your ideas are inevitably those who represent the established order that your ideas will upset. – Anthony D’Angelo
  287. Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him. – Henry Miller, The Wisdom of the Heart
  288. The important thing is not to stop questioning. – Albert Einstein
  289. There are two sorts of curiosity — the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things. – Robert Lynd, Solomon in All His Glory
  290. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research. – unknown
  291. The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist. – Novalis
  292. Knowledge is power. – Francis Bacon
  293. We cannot learn without pain. – Aristotle
  294. It’s easy to get lost in thought if it’s not familiar territory to you. – unknown
  295. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
  296. If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy. – Jack Handey
  297. I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what’s wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit. – Jack Handey
  298. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. – Scott Adams
  299. There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. – unknown
  300. A free society is a place where it’s safe to be unpopular. – Adlai Stevenson
  301. Alas, how many have been persecuted for the wrong of having been right? – Jean-Baptiste Say
  302. Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly. – Isaac Asimov
  303. Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. – Henry Brooks Adams
  304. Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past. – George Orwell
  305. If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. – Jim Rohn
  306. I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. – George Burns
  307. Whatever you condemn, you have done yourself. – Georg Groddeck
  308. I know you’ve come to kill me. Shoot, coward, you’re only going to kill a man. – Ernesto “Che” Guevara
  309. A great flame follows a little spark. – Dante Alighieri
  310. (23:42:50) Queen Mah Teefa: life doesnt exist. college consumes it.
  311. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. – unknown
  312. THIS IS MY FREAKING PERSONAL DOMAIN! YES, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!! – Trinity
  313. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde, The Remarkable Rocket
  314. To See a World in a Grain of Sand / And a Heaven in a Wild Flower / Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand / And Eternity in an hour.” – William Blake, “Auguries of Innocence”
  315. (18:55:38) Trinity: some people need to keep their genitalia to themselves.
  316. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. – Rainer Maria Rilke
  317. The journey is the destination – Dan Eldon
  318. He never told us what he was, / Or what mischance, or other cause, / Had banished him from better days / To play the Prince of Castaways. – Edwin Arlington Robinson
  319. (17:49:30) Trinity: its one evil chicken! shes out to peck like a mofo!
  320. One of the most adventurous things left is to go to bed, for no one can lay a hand on our dreams. – E.V. Lucas
  321. Common sense gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet. – Arthur Godfrey
  322. I think we agree, the past is over. – George W. Bush
  323. A “No” uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. – Ghandi
  324. God, will you stop that? Goddamn, you’re the most irritating person on the planet! This retirement of yours will be a death sentence. You’re like a rat on speed. – my dad’s comments on my mom as she scraped the salt off of crackers
  325. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. – Martin Luther King Junior
  326. The only people I have been able to use are those who have fought. – Hitler
  327. For the next thousand years, there will be no more revolutions in Germany. – Hitler
  328. Our movement is anti-parliamentary. – Hitler
  329. Great liars are also great magicians. – Hitler
  330. (19:31:56) Trinity: i wont be doing any cradle robbing, but i wouldnt mind being stolen :D
  331. We should all announce when we have to piss like mofos, b/c damn, I have to piss like a mofo. – Jackie
  332. Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. – Jules de Gaultier
  333. I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way. – Robert Frost
  334. ‘Long ago,’ he said, ‘long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing will come back no more. – “Winter Dreams,” F. Scott Fitzgerald
  335. Hell is oneself; / Hell is alone, the other figures in it / Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from / And nothing to escape to. One is always alone. – “The Cocktail Party,” T.S. Eliot
  336. My life is light, waiting for the death wind, / Like a feather on the back of my hand. – “A Song For Simeon,” T.S. Eliot
  337. Is not all life pathetic and futile? …We reach. We grasp. And what is left in our hands at the end? A shadow. Or worse than a shadow – misery. – “The Complete Sherlock Holmes,” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  338. For each ecstatic instant / We must an anguish pay / In keen and quivering ration / To the ecstasy. – “For each ecstatic instant,” Emily Dickinson
  339. to be nobody but myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting – ee cummings
  340. …then laugh, leaning back in my arms for life’s not a paragraph And death i think is no parenthesis. – “since feeling is first,” ee cummings
  341. Be what you would seem to be — or if you’d like it put more simply — Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise. – “Alice in Wonderland,” Lewis Carroll
  342. ‘But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked. ‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat. ‘We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.’ ‘How do you know I’m mad?’ said Alice. ‘You must be,’ said the Cat. ‘or you wouldn’t have come here. – “Alice in Wonderland,” Lewis Carroll
  343. Some nights are made for torture, or reflection, or the savoring of loneliness. – “Lost Souls,” Poppy Z. Brite
  344. I believe in whatever gets you through the night. Night is the hardest time to be alive. For me, anyway. It lasts so long, and four AM knows all my secrets. Four AM is when my dreams die. – “Lost Souls,” Poppy Z. Brite
  345. I will be thin and pure like a glass cup. Empty. Pure as light. Music. I move my hands over my body–my shoulders, my collarbone, my rib cage, my hip bones like part of an animal skull, my small thighs. In the mirror my face is pale and my eyes look bruised. My hair is pale and thin and the light comes through. I could be a lot younger than seventeen. I could be a child still, untouched. – “The Hanged Man,” Francesca Lia Block
  346. Tyger! Tyger! burning bright / In the forests of the night / What immortal hand or eye / Could frame thy fearful symmetry? – “The Tyger,” William Blake
  347. …to be abnormal is to be detested. – “The Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce
  348. Janie is a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her all that’s going to pass. But I don’t want to lie to her. – American Beauty [movie]
  349. Midway along the journey of our life I woke to find myself in a dark wood, for I had wandered off from the straight path. – “Inferno,” Dante Alighieri
  350. Defiance is beautiful. The defiance of power, especially great or overwhelming power, exalts and glorifies the rebel. – Edward Abbey
  351. History never looks like history when you’re living through it. – John Gardner
  352. You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  353. Man must not demolish, but build; he must raise temples where mankind may come and partake of the purest pleasure. – Goethe
  354. We all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun. – John Lennon, ‘Instant Karma!’
  355. Art is the imposing of a pattern on experience, and our aesthetic enjoyment is recognition of the pattern. – A.N. Whitehead
  356. The face is the index of a feeling mind. – George Crabbe
  357. The body must be repaired and supported, if we would preserve the mind in all its vigor. – Pliny the Younger
  358. It’s better to change your shoes than to carpet the world. – Stuart Smalley
  359. Our life is what our thoughts make it. – Marcus Aurelius
  360. Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. – Emily Dickinson
  361. In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost
  362. (19:13:05) Trinity: i need need a head full of angry teefs!
  363. “You laugh at me because I’m different, but I laugh at you because you’re all the same.” How different are you if you’re wearing a mass-produced t-shirt with a registered trade mark sold through one of the largest clothing franchises in the world? – the Best Page in the Universe
  364. ‘Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.’ Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we’d fill up the air with so much pollution that we’d all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding. – the Best Page in the Universe
  365. ‘Give you the remote control during the game.’ This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch “the game.” Since I’d rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch “the game,” I’ll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote. – the Best Page in the Universe
  366. It’s especially noticeable when you go to a restaurant and the waitress asks what you want to drink; there’s always some fickle fingered asshole thumbing through the menu, sounding off like a moron with “uhhhhhh….” as if the waitress is just going to walk away without taking your order if you don’t give her an audible cue that you are still breathing. – the Best Page in the Universe
  367. Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. Yeah, either that or rape in a dark alley waiting to happen. – the Best Page in the Universe
  368. Unless you’re a character in a fighting game, have big boobs, and just won the round with a bitch slap, saying “sorry” just before you insult someone is obnoxious, cut the bullshit. – the Best Page in the Universe
  369. Ever call someone a whore only to be countered with the bullet-proof come back: “well it takes one to know one”? You’re basically saying “yes, I spread my legs for money, as do you.” Good job Ms. Rotten-crotch, you’ve rebuked nothing. – the Best Page in the Universe
  370. I hate talking to open-minded people. They’re the same kind of people who emphasize every other word when they type as if you can somehow hear their obnoxious cadence in your head, for example: “we didn’t go to the store, but we DID buy a cake.” Cool it Shatner, we don’t read in the same voice you speak. – the Best Page in the Universe
  371. Any time you say something sucks around someone who disagrees, they try to validate their taste in shitty music/movies/clothing by reminding you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their opinions are in jeopardy of being monopolized by your own. – the Best Page in the Universe
  372. That DVD player would play a toasted cheese sandwich. It plays everything. – Trinity’s cousin
  373. …but the 8 is like infinity balls! – Trinity referring to ASCII male genitalia
  374. (20:41:43) Trinity: i wouldnt let my kid play with the loo…
  375. Two Ravenclaws were kissing and studying together—typical Ravenclaw idea of romance—at their table. – Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing…Rat? by Maya
  376. It’s just a coffin, a body, a hearse. Jeez! – Trinity
  377. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. – Oscar Wilde
  378. I don’t know how else to say it! You want me to say it in French? ‘Cause I don’t speak French! – my band director
  379. (18:29:14) Trinity: holy shit..something is squacking outside.
  380. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. – Woody Allen, “Side Effects”
  381. There’s a god-damned fly buzzing around my room. Time to grab a newspaper and beat the ruddy fly guts out of the fucker! – Trin
  382. The nature of God is a circle of which the center is everywhere and the circumference is nowhere. – Empedocles
  383. Good writers touch life often. Mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies. – Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
  384. An it harm none, do as you will. An it cause harm, do as you must. – Wiccan Rede of Lycian Tradition
  385. Yo mama’s so fat, the flies buzzin’ around her are locked in orbit. – my dad
  386. Yo mama’s unibrow so big it touches her moustache! – my dad
  387. y se emonciona! ya no razona, no lo puedo controlar! / wtf did you just say in spanish? / something about my emotions aren’t reasonable i can’t control them. Bidi Bidi Bom Bom by Selena. / i thought it was something about “i can’t control my razor” / rofl. / SPASTIC RAZOR! / i’m cracking up now. / good! i like crackage! – conversation between me and Trin
  388. my ass be tootin’ up dis joint! – Trin and Andrea
  389. The great snare of thought is uncritical acceptance of irrational assumptions. – Will Durant
  390. Your brain shall be your servant instead of your master. You will rule it instead of allowing it to rule you. – Charles E. Popplestone
  391. In life, it is not who you know; it is whom you know. – unknown
  392. For in much Wisdom there is much Grief, and he that increaseth Knowledge increaseth Pain – Ecclesiastes 1:18, KJV
  393. thats why i dont even write shit like that. i just get pissed off and start swearing :D – Trinity’s take on ‘deep’, morbid poetry
  394. You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken. – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  395. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  396. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  397. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair! – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  398. I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out! – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  399. Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up! – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  400. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  401. Take my advice, or I’ll spank you a lot. – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  402. Darn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken. – English subtitle used in a Hong Kong film
  403. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them. – unknown
  404. Necrophilia: the irresistible urge to crack open a cold one. – unknown
  405. Cemetery, n. An isolated suburban where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. – Ambrose Bierce
  406. But that is not my goal. My goal is to be less ignorant tomorrow than I am today. – Sebastian, 2003-02-28
  407. Men’s curiosity searches past and future / And clings to that dimension. But to apprehend / The point of intersection of the timeless / With time, is an occupation for the saint– / No occupation either, but something given / And taken, in a lifetime’s death in Love, / Ardour and selflessness and self-surrender. – T.S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages.
  408. I’d have to say that my ass tissue looks better on your elbow than on my ass! – Trinity, 2003-02-12, while talking to me
  409. Your ass, my ass! It’s MY ass! – me, 2003-02-12, while talking to Trinity
  410. Ass-molesting Monday! – Trinity
  411. Holy testicle Tuesday! – Trinity
  412. Whacktacular ass-whacking Wednesday! – Trinity
  413. Would you ever use a voodoo doll?: “Probably not. I guess I might try it out on myself if that is possible. A little jab in the ass wouldn’t hurt! – Trinity
  414. Furnish… the language of the ferns. – unknown
  415. Theoretically, people see money on a counter and no one around, they think they’re being watched.” / “Honesty through paranoia… – Clerks
  416. This isn’t school, this is hell with fluorescent lights. – t-shirt in Gadzooks
  417. OMG! i just smelt a porta-potty. – Trinity, 2002-12-05
  418. The secret to staying young is keeping in good health and lying about your age. – fortune cookie, noted by Trinity
  419. Oh fuck. I need to get clothes again. – Trinity
  420. My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice. – Trinity’s mousepad
  421. The inner demon can be subdued with chocolate and sex. It puts him right to sleep. – Trinity
  422. Damn, girl! How could you forget those times we worked together? Remember Vegas three years ago? Gad! Don’t tell me you turned out all normal and shit. STIPPERS [sic] RULE! – Trinity
  423. Your title blows like a bulimic after Christmas dinner. – FaithAccompli
  424. When the remarkable turns bizarre, reason turns rancid. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  425. Far be it from us to neglect the wishes of people with gobs of mascara on… – The Brunching Shuttlecocks
  426. Seducing me was almost as good as killing me, and nearly as crippling. – The Killing Dance, Laurell K. Hamilton
  427. Killing I understood. Relationships confused me. – The Killing Dance, Laurell K. Hamilton
  428. Is he dead? A stupid question about a vampire, but it was still the first thing I thought of. – Bloody Bones, Laurell K. Hamilton
  429. What did vampires do in bathrooms? Better not to know. – Bloody Bones, Laurell K. Hamilton
  430. Assuming the worst was always safer. And usually truer. – Bloody Bones, Laurell K. Hamilton
  431. You don’t volunteer for slugfests with vampires. It shortens your life expectancy. – The Lunatic Cafe, Laurell K. Hamilton
  432. Never take your eyes off the vampire in front of you to glance at the werewolf in back of you. One problem at a time. – The Lunatic Cafe, Laurell K. Hamilton
  433. Suspicion is healthy. It’ll keep you alive. – The Laughing Corpse, Laurell K. Hamilton
  434. I woke up on the grass where Caroline and I had been sitting. Vomiting water and bile, feeling like shit, but alive. Alive was good. – Burnt Offerings, Laurell K. Hamilton
  435. There are only two things you can do when you’re dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was. – The Killing Dance, Laurell K. Hamilton
  436. Did I suspect him of eating Little Red Riding Hood? Hell, he couldn’t even bring himself to kill the Big Bad Wolf. – The Lunatic Cafe, Laurell K. Hamilton
  437. ..The end of all our exploring / will be to arrive where we started / and know the place for the first time.. – TS Eliot, Little Gidding
  438. Reevaluate everything you have been told… dismiss that which insults your soul. – Walt Whitman
  439. Only the insane equate pain with success. . . – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  440. Tell yourself, I’ve seen worse at Rutledge’s. Prevarication, in this instance, may help. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  441. Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret was about to dart up my dress I’d run. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  442. Bravery and I are not on familiar terms. My natural curiosity is tempered with caution, thus I’ve lived long. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  443. Look straight ahead or askance. Whichever way you choose, you must always look in the right direction. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  444. Only the foolish believe suffering is just wages for being different. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  445. Every adventure requires a first step. Trite but true, even here. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  446. Trembling signals timidity. I’d smell trouble if I weren’t shaking so. – Alice, American McGee’s Alice
  447. A reflection sometimes exposes more reality than the object it echoes. – Cheshire Cat, American McGee’s Alice
  448. Change is as inexorable as time, yet nothing meets with more resistance. – Benjamin Disraeli
  449. It’s funny how everyone has had sex, but can’t even spell. We can see what some people’s priorities are.. – Trinity
  450. If some moron sends me a .doc file on the wrong day, they could receive Project Gutenberg as a reply. – Grouch, http://edge-op.org
  451. Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. – Missy Dizick
  452. People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. – Faith Resnick
  453. Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying. – Jean Cocteau
  454. That is not dead, Which can eternal lie, Yet with strange aeons, Even death may die. – H.P. Lovecraft
  455. Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us; our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. – Albert Einstein
  456. The only completely consistent people are the dead. – Aldous Huxley
  457. If you lingerest when I linger, If thou treadst the stones I tread, Thou wilt stay my spirit’s hunger, And dispel the dreams I dread. Come thou, love, my own, my only, Through the battlements of Groan; Lingering becomes so lonely, When one lingers on one’s own. – ‘Titus Groan’, by Mervyn Peake
  458. You weren’t being thick at all! You were showing moral fiber! – Ron Weasley
  459. All those times I could’ve died and I didn’t manage it? They’ll be furious! – Harry Potter
  460. I want to die peacefully and quietly in my sleep like Grandpa did… Not screaming and panicking like his passengers. – unknown
  461. Kids mess you up… you spend the rest of your life yelling at something you don’t understand. – unknown
  462. This is what it’s all been about. All the hatred and suffering and fighting and dying… over nothing more then the colors that can be found in a child’s crayon box. – unknown
  463. The reason the grass is always greener on the other side is that, you’re so busy looking at their grass, you forget to water your own. – unknown
  464. The future lies before you like freshly fallen snow. Be careful where you walk in it, for every footstep shows. – unknown
  465. How do you document real life when real life’s getting more like fiction each day? – Jonathan Larson, Rent
  466. At night my mind does not much care / If what it thinks is here or there / It tells me stories it invents / And makes up things that don’t make sense / I do not know why it does this stuff / The real world seems quite weird enough. – Calvin and Hobbes
  467. Author: A fool who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on tormenting the generations to come. – Egyd Gstettner
  468. But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew, upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think. – Lord Byron
  469. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. – Voltaire
  470. Common sense is not so common. – Voltaire
  471. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. – Voltaire
  472. It’s only when you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything. – Tyler Durden, Fight Club
  473. I can judge the junkiness of all yo asses if I want! – Trinity
  474. Their clothes were cut off the edge of the latest fashion, which was currently inclining towards wide hats, padded shoulders, narrow waists and pointed shoes and gave its followers the appearance of being very well-dressed nails. – Terry Pratchett, Pyramids
  475. Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. – Rudyard Kipling
  476. We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse. – Rudyard Kipling
  477. I always prefer to believe the best of everybody – it saves so much trouble. – Rudyard Kipling
  478. A true friend stabs you in the front. – Oscar Wilde
  479. Man’s mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions. – Oliver Wendall Holmes
  480. When you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  481. What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it. – Jiddu Krishnamurti
  482. I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. – Janeane Garofalo
  483. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, Harry, remember that. – Professor Dumbledore, JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  484. So long and thanks for all the fish! – Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  485. Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool. – Bellamy Brooks
  486. Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin. – unknown