why I’m not a dog lover

I was just reading Rose’s post about her mom’s dog being mean toward male guests and it reminded me that I had aimed to write a post about why it is that I don’t really like dogs. I stayed at Jon’s aunt’s house a few days ago and they had two indoor dogs. One of them, Slick, was just fine. She followed me around and would plop down on the floor nearby when I stationed myself at a computer or on the couch. She slept and offered herself up to be petted but without pestering me or slobbering or jumping up or snapping or any of the other annoying things dogs do. I liked her.

Clancy, on the other hand, was not so nice. From the moment I entered the house, he acted wary of me. He whined and whimpered around me, despite Jon and his aunt scolding the dog. When I turned my back on him, he nipped at my calves. Jon’s uncle told me I could whack the dog in the head if he pestered me or tried to bite me, but it never came to that. He seemed to be obedient in that he would go away when told, but any time I sat next to Jon on the couch or waved my arms or made any sudden movements, here came Clancy. He’d jump off of his couch and come over to ours, anxiously trying to get to me. To do what, I don’t know, but Jon held him at bay until Clancy was convinced to go lie down again.

And therein lies half the trouble with dogs for me: you can’t sit down or hold a conversation around some of them because they just won’t let you alone. You have guests and the dog has to jump up on them, slobber on them, bark constantly, whine, and generally interrupt the conversation. Ugh, and the smell. I’ve met maybe two dogs in my life that didn’t smell terrible. My brother’s girlfriend has a Yorkshire terrier that was pleasant enough, and it smelled fine. It became a pest at night, though, when it wouldn’t lie still in bed and kept waking me up by jumping to the floor and clicking around, then wanting back up on the bed. However, when it was put in another room, it barked and whined constantly out of loneliness.

I think part of my problem with dogs stems from the fact that, growing up, our dogs stayed outside. If we wanted to interact with them, we’d go out and see them. Otherwise, they were out of the way and not bothering us. So many people have indoor dogs that get run of the house and are left free to hassle any humans that live there or their guests. It’s a different perspective, living with a dog versus having a dog that stays outside.

People are always so forgiving of their misbehaving dogs, too. I have very little patience with a dog that jumps up and gets mud on my clothes, arbitrarily barks, sheds on everything, or generally stinks. Jon’s dog Susie is pleasant enough because she doesn’t bark and she’s happy to lie around and sleep all the time. That’s really what I look for in an animal: something soft and cuddly that will leave me alone unless I choose to interact with it. I think that’s why I like cats pretty well, because they’re so independent and aren’t as loud as dogs. Cats don’t stink, either, but they certainly shed, which is annoying. Of course, you have the litter box to change if you have an indoor cat but if that’s kept in some less used room, the smell isn’t noticeable in the rest of the house.

My brother has recently had a stray dog come around his house, and it’s been sweet enough. It has a nasty habit of jumping up on you, so whenever I walk in the yard I hold out my hands at arm’s length and tell it to stay back. This time of year, everything’s a soggy, muddy mess and the dog gets wet red clay all over its paws, which I definitely do not want smeared on me. The dog followed me back to my parents’ house one day and took to chasing our cats and chickens, which got my dad riled up. He chased it back to my brother’s house because he won’t tolerate an animal that disturbs the peace around here. My parents have two dogs that appreciate our cats as extra blankets in the winter; it’s a pretty endearing sight to see a dog covered in fluffy cats on the porch when it’s cold out.

Most of my dislike of dogs comes from me not wanting to be grungy or stinky, and my dislike of sudden noises. I like peace and quiet, so no barking at random stuff or people that I like. I don’t want to be covered in spit or coarse hair or stinky-dog smell. Any time I pet a dog, I have to wash my hands and the smell still doesn’t go away. Blecch. Despite getting covered in hair, I’m still very fond of cuddling cats, especially fat, fluffy cats that just want to lie around and be cuddled. Jon’s aunt had two such cats, Ishmael and Sami (I don’t know if they spelled it that way, I just kept mentally picturing it like that), and they kept me company by sitting in my lap while I worked at the computer.

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couldn’t watch Watchmen

We got a bit of snow, enough to cover my brother’s porch, the trampoline, and the cars, but only barely enough to dust the grass. That was last night, when it was still coming down. At one point when I went out, I couldn’t tell if it was rain or snow before it later became decidedly snow. This morning, though, it’s all melting and everything’s a soggy mess out there.

My dad and I watched Up yesterday which was a treat for me because I loved that movie when I first saw it in the theater with Jon. My dad enjoyed it, too, and pointed out something I hadn’t considered. Erm, spoiler alert! Right, so in the movie, the bad guy falls off a zeppelin while holding a few helium balloons. He plummets through the clouds and I had always assumed he died, which was surprising because Disney never lets the bad guys die. Even the bad dogs in the movie were shown floating safely down so you can guess they live. Well, my dad noted that the bad guy fell from a high altitude but would be falling into denser air, which could help slow his descent with those balloons. The way Pixar did it, you can choose to believe whichever ending you like: the bad guy died by going squish! against the earth, or he lived thanks to those few balloons he held.

We also tried to watch Watchmen, along with my mom, but couldn’t get past the first twenty minutes or so. We had first watched Tales of the Black Freighter, a twenty-minute animated short that comes with Watchmen, and it was terrible. It’s like some teenage boy with bad animation skills made a short movie to show off how gory he could be. My dad and I were cracking up, but not at points where we were supposed to laugh. For example, this shipwrecked guy is on an island and he builds a boat out of his shipmates’ corpses because they’re full of gas and thus buoyant. My dad pointed to all the palm trees shown in the background and said “See those palm trees? Coconuts float.” He also commented on how it was a really bad idea to build a ship for the ocean out of dead bodies because there are plenty of carrion eaters in the ocean. Sure enough, the guy got attacked by sharks that were coming after his dead-body boat. Ugh. The narration throughout was like really bad poetry written by some melodramatic emo kid who thought he was being deep.

So we finished Tales of the Black Freighter and moved on to Watchmen, which wasn’t much better. The movie starts out focusing on this smiley-face button that gets a splatter of blood on it, like that was sooo poignant. It moves on to following the character Rorschach around, and he keeps talking in the same overly dramatic style as the narrator from Tales of the Black Freighter. One of his lines was something about “screams like an abattoir filled with retarded children”, and that’s the line that got me. Really? A slaughterhouse full of retarded kids? My dad said he couldn’t take another hour and a half of that crap, and that was just the first disc.

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silly string Christmas

Pfhew, the semester is over and I’ve been visiting family. I went to a reunion for my father’s side of the family today and there was a pretty hilarious time when one of my cousins passed out a present to all the little kids: about 15-20 cans of silly string. O God, the carnage. We met at a church rec room since nobody’s house is big enough for all of us to get together, and the entire floor was covered in bits of gooey, colorful string. Kids under five were chasing each other and chasing adults and sometimes the adults would confiscate cans and then go after each other with it. Some of the kids didn’t understand the need to shake the cans first, and the adults would demonstrate this and then promptly get sprayed by the kid; talk about biting the hand that feeds. The mess was kind of crazy; everyone was going around with big shop brooms and little kids were grabbing handfuls of the goop to toss in the trash. I got little speckles of pink silly string embedded in my shirt, which is now in the wash.

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an abstract and a cold

Jon and I started rewatching the Quantum Leap series from the 90s last night. We’d talked before about how we both used to love it. I never saw the episodes in order, and I know I haven’t seen all of them. My dad and I would watch reruns on the SciFi channel together when I was younger. I remember distinctly an episode where Sam was a pregnant woman, and another where he had to save Marilyn Monroe. Beyond that, I don’t remember particular episodes. Jon and I found most of them on Hulu, and there are a lot of Watch Instantly episodes on Netflix, too.

I finished writing mine and Darra’s software engineering paper last night. I’ll probably post it up here, for anyone who’s interested. Our professor is really pushing us to find a conference to which we can submit it; she suggested one over at Oxford but I don’t have the money for a trip to the UK. Ha, I also don’t have a passport for a trip to the UK; I doubt they’d be as forgiving as the Canadian customs officers were when a carload of us played dumb Americans in order to go across the border and see the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Anyway, here’s the abstract for our paper, titled “Comparison of Models for Testing Ruby on Rails Web Applications”:

Web applications are prevalent and it is important that they be of high quality as businesses, schools, and public services rely upon them. Toward that end, we compared two approaches for testing web applications. The Atomic Section Model (ASM) and the Qian, Miao, Zeng (QMZ) model are both used as a means of generating test cases that traverse a web application. We applied the two models to a Ruby on Rails web application to compare defect detection efficacy. We found that both models performed equally well in terms of total faults detected, though neither model found all seeded and naturally occurring faults. Also, the ASM model detected one fault that the QMZ did not, and vice versa.
— Darra Ricks and Sarah Vessels

I have only one final this coming week in algorithms. I’ll be studying like mad for it Monday, and some today as well. Studying will be made less fun because I’ve caught a cold that is causing some majorly annoying sinus issues. I’ve woken up a couple mornings with a really sore throat that I think is due to all the drainage (pleasant thought, right?). Jon has been sick as well recently, so when I started feeling poorly the other day, I made an appointment and went in to see the doctor. She must have thought I was ridiculous, coming in for a simple cold, but I didn’t know that’s what it was! Anyway, she gave me a little sheet on the differences between the common cold and the flu, told me to get some pseudoephedrine (the real meth-making stuff, not the knock-off), and to wait a week for it to pass. In the meantime, it’s sore every time I swallow and my ears also feel like they should pop, but they don’t. The pseudoephedrine was ridiculously cheap: I spent more to park for an hour than I did on twenty-four tablets.

I got a very exciting text message from Melissa last night saying she was off to the hospital, she might be going into labor. I hope things go very well for her and that the baby is healthy. I can’t wait to see a blog post or hear back from her somehow about how it went.

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sleep and bellies

Darra, my software engineering partner, sent me what she’d worked up for our presentation tomorrow in class. I just finished going over it, and I’ve also finished my algorithms homework, meaning… I’m free!!! Of course, at this point I’m pretty much just free to go to bed, but it’s still nice to have that luxury. Poor Darra sent me the presentation at 4:30 in the morning because she’s crazy (well, she described herself as “Delirious Darra”); she was apparently on campus for almost 24 hours, which is way too much academia in one day. She had to get up at 7:30 this morning and drive to Cinci for work, too. That makes me feel like such a bum because I would have just taken off work if I’d been forced to stay up that late the night before. How do you even function on 3 hours of sleep? If she even got that; I’m sure she had to drive home and get ready for bed. I get cranky and feel all wonky in the head if I get 6 hours or less a night. Of course, Darra’s in her penultimate semester of graduate school, so she’s battle-hardened… Man, am I going to be that hard-core when I’m about to graduate?

My stomach has felt like it’s trying to eat itself today, so I’ve been downing Advil and chocolate. Brianna at work introduced me to Toblerone, and that stuff is damn tasty. I’m'a pick me up one of those fake-prisms (she tells me they do a terrible job at refracting light) next time I’m at the grocery. I asked Jon if he were here if he’d rub my belly; he would indeed. I offered the same to him and he turned it down; turns out I’ve been rubbing his belly as a sign of affection and he’s not a fan, he just puts up with it! I was shocked! So for all of you out there that have been victims of my gratuitous belly-rubbing, if you don’t approve, let me know. I will cease the tireless tummy touching forthwith.

Posted in Daily life | Tagged , , | 2 Comments | Current music The Eastoner by General Midi