• Terry Tate: Office Linebacker - I have to remember to show this to my brother because he, a football fan, would get a kick out of it.
• Dramatic “chipmunk” - Reactions to this have been mixed. While Best Week Ever hosts called it hilarious and it’s gotten 1,000-something thumbs-up votes on CollegeHumor, neither Jessica nor Kathy liked it. Me, Todd, and Angie, however, have found it very funny.
• Hamster on a piano with popcorn - Adorably mean.
• Weird Al’s White and Nerdy - The song of my stereotype!
• Don’t give ‘im the stick! - I never even watched G.I. Joe as a kid and I still find this hilarious in that same WTF kind of way.
• Trunk Monkey commercial compilation - If only all advertisements were this light-hearted and entertaining.

That punch I made yesterday for me and the girls turned out freakin’ fabulous. I’m going to make this on a more regular basis; who needs a party/gathering/get-together situation to enjoy great punch! Wow, that sounds like an ad line, but I assure you I am in no way associated with whoever thought up that recipe. I’m currently slurping on some and hoping for the rest of the big frozen juice block to melt further so I can dip out more.

Jessica is crazy. I love her, but man is she looped. See, I’m supposed to go on a double date this Friday with Todd, his sister, and Steve. Well, his sister isn’t getting into town as early as we’d thought, so we wanted to move the date to Saturday. I’m supposed to go with the girls to Jessica’s house Saturday evening in order to watch Harry Potter movies. I called Jess to see what time we’re all heading over, explaining the date situation, and try to budget out how much time we’ll need to do everything so I’ll know the latest I can finish with the date. Well, she starts talking about how we have to go to the grocery, then we have to put away the groceries, and how Ashlee will already be in town and we can’t leave her waiting around. That’s all fine and good so I start budgeting extra time to allot for those… Then she says we have to set the DVD player up. What? How much setup does a DVD player require? It’s not like we have to build the dang thing! This isn’t a new machine; it’s the same DVD player that’s been sitting on her TV stand for months now, out of the package and used plenty of times. The most “setup” it could require is maybe, maybe unplugging a game console and plugging in the DVD player. I tell her this and she comes back with, “I’m pretty sure the DVD has never been opened.” She wanted to budget time to take the plastic off a DVD case. I guess that should tell you just how crazy DVD manufacturers have gotten with their shrink wrap; this poor girl thinks we should get to her house early just so we can muscle through the unwrapping in time to watch the movie and get to bed.

1. I used to buy packages of lemon-iced cookies at work from the snack machine for a while last year till one evening I spent some time with Jessica. It was discovered (without much trouble, I might add) that evening that I had terrible gas, and we tried to think of what could have caused it. The lemon cookies were the only thing we could think of, and I got so paranoid about those cookies giving me gas that I haven’t bought them since.
2. I am a very paranoid driver. Kathy and Todd both complain that I get so freaked out when they drive, and other people seem to have no problem with their driving style. If I see people in the lanes beside me, I worry that they’ll dive into my lane without warning. If a car is waiting to turn out into my road, I worry they’ll cut me off. If I’m following behind someone, I worry they’ll slam on the brakes for no apparent reason. All of these things may be reasonable things to worry about when driving, because idiots abound on the road, but I seem to have a problem staying relaxed in a car while still maintaining these ideas in my head. When I get worried as a passenger, I push the invisible passenger-side brake, point out what other cars are doing, and mutter, “Brakebrakebrakebrake!”.
3. I can write mirror script. After reading The DaVinci Code, I decided being able to write like that would be incredibly cool, so through much frustration, I taught myself. I now keep a written diary that is entirely in reverse writing.
4. If I remember a joke or something funny that happened a while ago, I can still laugh about it. I figured this would be a pretty common thing, but those around me still think I’m strange if I start chuckling to myself.
5. I skipped third grade, whoo!
6. I think snakes are cool. I don’t want to be in contact with them unless their head is firmly held, but when it is, everything’s good and I enjoy stroking them and examining their scales.

Now to pass this along! I choose Mar, Palmer, and Lorina.

So, I blog because I enjoy keeping a journal. I find it much easier to type up all that I’m experiencing and thinking about than to write it down by hand in a written journal. I do keep a written journal, but I usually only update it when I’m going through a tough time with personal issues. My blog is my way of keeping family and distant friends up-to-date with my life, as well as a place to vent and share my obsessions with others. I love getting feedback and knowing that some tutorial or article I posted was useful to someone. I’m also vain as a peacock, so I enjoy knowing that at least a few other people are reading through my life. I also blog because I love the little online communities that form around blogs. I’ve met some good friends through their personal sites (Trin comes to mind), and I’ve found a lot of entertainment in reading the blogs of others.

I’ve decided that I’m not that worried about my discrete math final. I was just attempting to study for it by working sample problems but every time I would choose one to work, I’d get it all written down and then realize, hey, I remember how to do this. It’s going to be open-book, open-note, just like his other exams, which has been critical for me. Some of the topics I would see on the tests would be completely new to me, so I’d have to flip through my book to figure out how to work a problem. Now, I’ll be having a test with completely old, covered material on it, which is great. Thinking about the test, I just can’t get that worked up over it. If I bomb it, I still have a B in the class. I wish my other courses were this way, instead of, for example, microcomputer organization in which the final counts for 40% of my grade. I think I’ll devote my time tonight to a mixture of finishing my biology reading (currently about the evolution of primates) and studying for microcomputer organization.

Ooh, speaking of quizzes, Todd took one the other day that I’ve been meaning to do: “Which file extension are you?“. Très nerdy, eh?

And while I’m at this BBspot site and noticing other potentially fun quizzes…

Beyond exciting quizzes and Ruby shopping, I signed the “Novell-Microsoft deal sucks” petition by Bruce Perens, because I find the deal disgusting. The recent mudslinging by Ballmer about Linux infringing on MS patents is equally disturbing, and just increases my hate of that slimeball company even more. Show us the code, Ballmer, but that would be too reasonable. Instead, he’s probably just going to sling more accusations around and generally play this like the whole SCO fiasco, dragging it out when there is no violation, no patent infringement.

Another thing that bugs me is the talk of including proprietary drivers in Ubuntu’s Feisty Fawn by default. That seems to be contrary to the whole idea of Ubuntu, and as such it upsets and angers me. As I put on the Ubuntu Forums the other day, maybe I left Debian for this easy sell-out of a distribution too early.

While checking my site stats, I discovered I was getting a lot of hits from some MySpace profile. I checked and the little douchebag Joey from Middleboro, MA has a very familiar background image:

Screenshot of Joey’s profile.

A piece of my digital art.

I’m now reading up on preventing image bandwidth theft so that I can foil losers like this.

There are other hotlinkers, too! Mandy is using an image from my old Anita Blake fan site, I am Sofa King We Todd Did is using an image from Junk Drawer, Dan is using the same image, Heretical Johnny is using the same image, @ngle is using the same image as Joey, and there were two other profiles listed whose use of my images I couldn’t even see because their profiles are closed off! Ridiculous. I’m glad I found this, and I’m glad I followed an A List Apart tutorial last night on hotlinking prevention.

I like this one the best, I think. It was the first one we took and I didn’t know he was going to pull a face.

Just a normal photo, though like in all of them, you can see up my nose.

Todd was trying not to laugh, so he looks constipated.

Another normal one.

I took the Which Marvel superhero are you? quiz and got The Hulk. Yeah baby!

The product of a science experiment gone awry, Bruce Banner turns into the unstoppable green monster the “Hulk” whenever his temper rises. The more angry he gets, the stronger the Hulk becomes. Bruce travels the world, hoping to find a cure for the Hulk and bring his life back to normal. However, he often has to become the Hulk to save those he loves when danger threatens.

Bentley was Mr. Fantastic and Todd was The Punisher.

“I am affectionate and skeptical”

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

• How to Get Along with Me
  • Be direct and clear.
  • Listen to me carefully.
  • Don’t judge me for my anxiety.
  • Work things through with me.
  • Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
  • Laugh and make jokes with me.
  • Gently push me toward new experiences.
  • Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
• What I Like About Being a Six
  • being committed and faithful to family and friends
  • being responsible and hardworking
  • being compassionate toward others
  • having intellect and wit
  • being a nonconformist
  • confronting danger bravely
  • being direct and assertive
• What’s Hard About Being a Six
  • the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
  • procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
  • fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
  • exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
  • wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
  • being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations
• Sixes as Children Often
  • are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
  • are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
  • form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or parent
  • look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
  • are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent
• Sixes as Parents
  • are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
  • are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
  • worry more than most that their children will get hurt
  • sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

I also read an essay on the dialect of the Appalachian people that was interesting.

I made a new layout that I’m quite pleased with. It’s called Blue Flower, and I think you should give ‘er a go and see how you like it. I’ve only checked it in Firefox 2.0b2 and Opera on my Ubuntu system, so I have no idea how Safari, IE, or any other browsers fare with it. If you experience any problems, please let me know. The photo I used is one I took in 2004 of a lily by the side of our road, and the original version can be found in the gallery.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Amarok, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the ‘next’ button.

And here’s my soundtrack:

Opening Credits:

It Can’t Hurt by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Waking Up:

Rains in Asia by Jump

Falling In Love:

Pity the Dead by Bad Religion (I love vampires and/or zombies?)

Fight Scene:

All the Wrong Reasons by Tom Petty (fitting song)

Breaking Up:

Dread Rock by Paul Oakenfold

Making up:

Von der Armut by Das Ich

Life’s Okay:

Poor Boy by Howlin’ Wolf (life’s okay so there’s a blues song playing?)

Mental Breakdown:

Big Machine by Velvet Revolver

Driving:

Deal Goin’ Down by ZZ Top (I’m going to a drug bust!)

Flashbacks:

It Makes Me Ill by Nsync (ha! I still have this song?!)

Happy Dance:

Don’t Nobody Know by Ani Difranco (this sucks as a happy dance song! gah!)

Partying:

The Wonders at Your Feet by Dark Tranquility (I guess I go to a lot of metalhead parties)

Regretting:

This Land is Your Land by Jim Croce (is this a hint that I don’t like to share?)

Final Battle:

Impact Crater by Kenji Yamamoto (this is from the Metroid Prime soundtrack, so I suppose it’s fitting)

Death Scene:

Boot Stamping on a Human Face by Bad Religion (jeez, what a title)

Ending Credits:

Lies by Evanescence (not the best way to end it, but okay…)

1. “I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, ‘How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?’ I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word… he knew better.”
2. “I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
   who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, ‘I think I like playing with men’s balls.’”
3. “My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, ‘No, I’m just looking at your nuts.’ My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.”
4. “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving ‘right now’ she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, ‘If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!’ The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.”
5. “Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter; she was clean. I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said no. I kept thinking ‘Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.’ Then I asked, ‘Danny, are you sure you didn’t have an accident?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. I just knew that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, ‘Danny, did you have an accident?’ This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled ‘See Mom, it’s just farts!‘ While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had.”
6. “What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any? We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: ‘So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?’”

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don’t really mean, so think before you speak!

“Damn!” says the little old lady, “I’d better go back and see if I can find some. Thanks for the warning!”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?”

“Oh, no,” says the little old lady. “You see, my backyard opens up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Every time there’s a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through, I say: ‘$20 or off it comes!’”

“Hey, not a bad idea!” laughs the cop. “Good luck! Oh, but before you go, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well,” says the little old lady, “Not all of them pay.”