These are a couple of funny stories that I don’t think I’ve shared on here before, involving Jon and me:

Are you saving that for later?

Jon and I were sitting on my couch, each with a helping of some of my home-made cheesecake and peach ice cream (real calorie-counters, us). While we were eating, I looked over at him and saw he had some in his beard. My dad, also quite the beardy person, will remark that he’s “just saving it for later” when someone points out he has food in his beard. I tried to point at the food on Jon and ask “are you saving that for later?” but, creature of infinite grace that I am, I managed to whack the spoonful of cheesecake + ice cream that he was holding and knock it into his shoulder, smearing tastiness all over his shirt. We just stared at it for a minute, then he responded with “No, I’m saving this for later.”

Wife beater

This story is funny entirely because of the American slang term “wife beater“, meaning an A-shirt. Jon was at my place and had gotten something on his shirt, so he wanted to change. I didn’t have any large t-shirts that would work for him, so I offered him one of my wife beaters, explaining that, though small, it would stretch. He was all dubious, saying he’d never fit in the tiny shirt that fits me. I insisted he try it anyway, and I stood next to him as he tried it on. While trying to get his arm through the second sleeve, he managed to punch me in the head. I asked him if he did it “because I burnt the roast.”