Comments on: why are people online so mean?

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 22 May 2009 06:11:33 +0000

I think angel described the process well.

It happened to me once and was completely shocking. It was on this website where there are apparently “regulars” who read posts where people ask for advice, and then rather than actually offer any advice, they just virtually assault the person and then others join in until it’s one giant orgy of hatred.

Like angel said, when I tried to respond with kindness, in order to clarify, people just got even more aggressive. It’s like they were just feeding off the energy. Now I can look back and laugh at it, but it was quite disturbing at the time, because I really don’t socialize with people who treat others that way in real life. So I was completely taken aback.

I dunno… didn’t these people have parents that taught them manners? That kind of behavior is just so foreign to me. …thank God. I really do feel sorry for people who grew up listening to people talk to each other that way.

By: Justin

Justin — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:07:43 +0000

Wow, well said. (:

By: angel

angel — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:52:13 +0000

Name calling starts when one or more persons feel inferior and have to do something; which online is writing. And to get attention, the bullies get nasty fast to get a good first punch in hopes of a TKO. Usually the name labeling is something that won’t get them banned from chat like twit or prude, but enough of a supposed insult to make the bullies feel good about trying to victimize anyone new or nice. When the attacked don’t react, the bullies take it as a sign of weakness, when really it’s not worth the time or effort to respond – the bullies are ALWAYS seen for the jerks they are. Well, unless someone is so desperate for attention that they think the bullies are witty or fun. When the legitimately attacked try to respond, then the mob mentality takes over and it’s a feeding frenzy on one or more persons with the rest taking their jabs. It turns into a junior high school food fight with words and gets messy. Nobody wins yet some are happy with their venom being spewed saying “see there, I got her/him good!”. If they only saw how others see them – total idiots picking on people they don’t know online. Nobody respects or likes the bullies. But don’t tell the bullies that – they actually think they are popular.

Then there’s the miserable loner who has been abused by everyone in her life who looks for attention, and makes up stories about others to get sympathy. She lives in a virtual world with her online “friends” as her only entertainment and writes stupid, untruthful, sad and miserable blogs about things nobody cares about in hopes that someone/anyone will care to be on her friends list. Most stay away since she is so lost.

Then there’s the online chatters who have known each other for years, but only online, and spend many hours every day sitting in a box talking about food, sex, gossip and what a great life they live. Since they have no real life, no real friends, live in a cheap apt or single wide in a bad part of town (or in mommy’s basement because of heart issues, lol), they make up stories about others, usually when the attacked is not around so they can really gossip. Sad when over 40 crowd spends their Friday and Saturday nights talking about others who are NOT online because the chatters have nothing better to do but sit in front of a computer and get high, drunk or naked alone.

People who live mostly online, will die alone, online and without any meaning to their words. An example of this in May, 2008 was a jerk that in real life was a 58 year old real estate agent in Naples, Florida who harassed women on many different dating sites. When he was rejected by pretty women, he got mean, got revenge and revealed his real personality. Only a few liked him, and those women were on the least desirable list of anybody’s list. His “best friend” was a naked Latino woman who also lives in Florida and would openly share her webcam views with anyone while talking trashy in an open chat room. She is easy to find online, just search.

It’s easy to see why some are a$$holes on line… the easy women are entertained, the moderators don’t want to deal with them, and the other losers think its cool to vent their anger and issues onto someone else. That is so much easier than spending time on themselves and making the world an easier place for all.

By: JJonson

JJonson — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:07:52 +0000

Really nicely said.
After reading a bunch of comments to YouTube videos, this question came to mind. People seemed to forget that another human put effort into creating the video they are ripping apart, with no expectation of being paid.
But the obvious and quick answer of being able to hide behind a screen name doesn’t mesh with me.
Maybe I’m trying to be optimistic, but I’d like to think that the average person would start shouting in the face of old ladies or announcing themselves better than all those around them the second they get ahold of a mask.
I think that it has a lot to do with people being more passionate about saying, “you’re a douche!!!” than “hey, nicely done.”
So if you have a thousand readers, 800 may think your blog is well done, but the ones who are going to be vocal are the ones you’ve angered.

By: breanna

breanna — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:29:08 +0000

what the hells this?

By: Melinda

Melinda — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:27:05 +0000

I imagine it would be because of the anonymity. Anyone can easily ‘create’ an identity that is nothing like them, and if it’s all online then hardly anything that happens in their online life could ’spill over’ into their offline life, which if far more important.

Also, it’s so easy to ’step out’ of it all: All you have to do is delete whatever was causing the problem, where as in real life you actually have to mend whatever damage you did etc.

Or… It could just be the fact that people get kicks from it? I’m not overly involved in e-drama, but I do admit that I find it funny. Sometimes. Occasionally… A lot.

Ha, sorry for the rambly comment, but I agree with most of what you said! …Except for the thing about e-drama and age. I don’t think it’s a good thing to say that all teenagers are “jaded and grouchy”, when it’s probably just a convenient stereotype. Heck, I’m 16, but I definitely don’t hate the world.

Either way, good post. You have a fine point. :)

By: Frankie

Frankie — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 20:35:40 +0000

People are just assholes, there is no explaination.

By: Jem

Jem — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:29:28 +0000

That’s probably why I’m not so popular online too. I don’t spark any drama at all. I like being the nice one.

What crap. I was getting thousands of hits a day before I ever started the Pants Awards or reviewing. Furthermore, I know plenty of people way nicer than me with more hits and visitors.

By: Kimmie

Kimmie — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:24:20 +0000

Well said. Now if only we could get everyone else to start thinking like us.

By: Aravis

Aravis — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:32:22 +0000

I haven’t been around Snark much for the same reason as Melissa’s. Too much drama, and I have no patience or energy for people who love to spark drama. I do secretly enjoy them from afar, but I know when I’ve had enough.

That’s probably why I’m not so popular online too. I don’t spark any drama at all. I like being the nice one.

By: Howard

Howard — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 01:43:21 +0000

Definitive answer to your question:

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/yhst-34640480252896_1969_642340

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 11:22:24 +0000

Part of the reason why I don’t really post on Snark anymore is because of the e-drama that surrounds a lot of the members there. I got sick of the holier than thou attitude of half the regulars. I find it pretty sad that some people have nothing better to do with their time than sit online and bully people.

By: Kaylee

Kaylee — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 22:09:33 +0000

i’m not overly involved in e-drama, but I do like to comment on it. I think I just like to comment on everything :P

I probably am meaner on the internet because of, as you mentioned, the anonymity.

By: Jem

Jem — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:54:08 +0000

I don’t know about whether or not people are trying to be like me (pretending to be humble here) but for the record, I’m exactly the same offline – a sarcastic, grumpy twat that’s always complaining about one thing or another – and I’m sure Amelie, Karl or even my boss would be willing to back that up ;)