My first day back at Lexmark went well, but that didn’t stop me from being anxious this morning and anxious now. I’m freaked out about the idea of so much of my free time being cut out. These past two weeks of freedom have been wonderful, and I worry I won’t get much time like that in the future. Oh sure, there will be breaks from school, and a break after this co-op before I start classes again in the fall, but I’m concerned about when I graduate. Then I’ll have to get a full time job and it’ll last until I’m about 65; that’s such a scary idea. I dread getting up early, I dread the end of the weekend, I dread looking at the clock at 11 a.m. at work and knowing that I have many more hours to go that day before I can fight traffic to get home. I talked to Todd about this earlier and he reassured me that my career will be kept interesting due to my changing projects, eventual promotions, and possible company changes. He told me he doesn’t dread the end of the weekend nearly as much as he used to. He’s in a lucky position where there isn’t work to do a lot of the time, so he just fiddles around online, though when work does come in, everything is hectic and stressful for a while until, for example, a new site is launched. I don’t know if I would like that type of environment better than my current stable, steady flow of work.
It also stresses me out when I go and spend $55 on groceries. I did get enough food for three separate dinners, plus a variety of other things, though, so it’s good that I can get three meals for Todd and I for such a price. I’m used to spending around $30 at a time in the grocery, though, so it’s a bit shocking when I nearly double that. Makes me glad Todd and I alternate who buys the groceries. I’ll be so glad when I get my first paycheck. I’m not hurting for money now, but I’ll still feel better when I have a source of income again. I would have spent more than the $55 if I hadn’t caught two mistakes in how the groceries rang up: I saved $2 just by watching the screen and alerting the cashier when a price had been marked differently.
All today consisted of was an orientation till lunchtime, getting me reacquainted as a new hire to Lexmark and getting my security badge, then getting my workspace set up for the rest of the day. My manager spoke with me about the general idea of what I’ll be working on this semester but I haven’t been given anything to work on yet. I’m currently going through an old project and getting reacquainted with it, since another co-op worked on it while I was gone.
You know, just be happy that you have such a decent job during your undergrad studies. I’d give anything for such a job right now, but up here, its impossible to get into anything like that unless you already have a degree, and even then, most people with degrees don’t land jobs in their field of study right away anyway.
Ah, you’re dreading “real life.” It sounds sad, I know, but it doesn’t have to be. Though that’s pretty much the reality of it, it’s how we make it out to be, you know?
Don’t worry too much about it, but I can completely relate in a different way. I’m no morning person myself, I have to get up 6 AM, leave the house at 7 AM to drop my brother to school for 8 AM. Then I have to pick him up, go to my mother’s so he can pick up his stuff and go to my dad’s. With all the traffic and nonsense, it takes an hour to get home. In the morning, it’s a good 45 min drive (depending on traffic).
I can only imagine when I start college in August and get around to getting a summer job. Eh, life! You’re not alone!
You freakin need to do an update! I’m sittin here at work needin a break, so I cruise on over here to your site and see that you haven’t updated since Monday! Geesh! You’re falling behind!