These were written by me as parodies of so much cheesy poetry I see out there.
My Bloody Heart
The blood in my teacup
Is too thick to drink
Smash! Shatter! Tinkle!
Goes the cup as it breaks
Like the infinite, knife-like
Shards of my heart.
The Neverending Saga
Pick, pick, pick.
I pinch and I pull,
But it is all in vain.
It is to no avail;
My tuggings are futile!
…As is my life.
Woe is me,
The perpetual
Wedgie picker.
Death Omen
The suicidal ladybug
Dressed her finest in red and black
Cares only to dance and dance
Her spectral, ghostly dance
As she dashes her brains
Into the cold fluorescent light
And each hit screams an omen:
TURN OFF THIS FUCKING LAMP!
Weary Bones
My lover
Is a skeleton.
A bag of weary bones
Surrounded by nothing but air.
Air…and my own rotted flesh
As I hug him in a
Corrupt embrace
And drag him along into the
Despair that is my
Decomposed soul.
3 Comments
I love the ladybug one, with all the “Japanese Beetle” things that are around here, they are so annoying… So its true.
And I thought the wedgie one was funny… Not sure I quite understand the last one though. Very… morbid. I’m glad its a parody…
My God, I love that last one. It’s so satirically genius, I want to award you with something.
These are hilarious! I’m sad to say that this is what most of my older poems sound like but not anymore, thank god.